There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
