So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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