there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
50% drunk capacity currently
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize