if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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