I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
