I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
