I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
