I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize