How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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