He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Someone came in the potted fern
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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