wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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