I cockslap morals
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
