Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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