You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
