The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
