He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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