I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
