i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
