Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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