i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
