I understand Curling. That high.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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