i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
