Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
