I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
