You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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