Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize