i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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