You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
