I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
