She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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