Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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