he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
