I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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