So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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