You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize