i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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