Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
