I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize