How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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