im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
