These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
