i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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