i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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