I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
