Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Who died my cat blue again?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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