he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
