Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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