I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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