with your own penis?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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