Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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