Yo dont text me then not text me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
