just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
