they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
