I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize