i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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