i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
